There Must be an Evil Spirit in that Vegetable!!

Canning season is upon us, and I recently spent a day canning salsa with two of my gilrfriends, June and Carah. (See previous post "A Day Filled With Jam and Love.) I was in charge of cutting onions for said salsa. Now, for those of you who don't know, I spent much of my adolescence working at Quizno's for my uncle, and have sliced a great number of onions in my day, and consider myself quite immune to their tear-inducing effects. However, the onions that were purchased by Carah and June were more than just onions--they were SUPER ONIONS FROM OUTER SPACE!!! I am not kidding--these onions had been sent here by their parents on Krypton and had derived their super-powers from the yellow sun of Earth. If only I had had some Kryptonite handy!!! Before long, I had sucommed to their powers, and was subdued. June, who at this point was not only unconcerned by the evil which had overpowered me, but was laughing so uncontrollably that I now highly suspect that she is one of the evil minions of the alien onion super-race, eventually was able to pull herself together enough to get me some volleyball goggles. I looked ridiculous, but my pain was lessened somewhat.

In the end, I had a thought concerning onions. While they are lovely, and add a fabulous flavor to almost all things that they are involved in--if I were the world's first person to cut into an onion, I would have been sure that the vegetable was possessed by evil spirits, and would never cut into one again! I probably would have also been sure that I had let the evil spirit out, and would forever be haunted by the spirit of the onion. I'm not gonna lie, I am not sure that I am not currently being haunted by the Evil Spirit of the Onions, as I still can smell it's evil upon my hands--days and days later!! Does anyone know a good exorcist--preferably one that specializes in onions? (I suppose that if they end up being an alien super race, perhaps Spec. Agents Mulder and Scully would be more appropriate!)